Mental Goal

While cleaning out my inbox today, I found about 10 old notes I sent myself from an old iPhone back in 2012. I actually quite like the Note app in iOS, I use it almost daily to write down things I don’t want to forget, an impromptu shopping list, or a random thought.

This is what I wrote to myself on January 15th, 2012:

So the life I want is really simple: I want to get better at nutrition-balanced cooking for my little family; I want to be a cultural observer; I want to write down what I observe. I want to abandon that dream of becoming a Creative Director in a large firm. I just want to focus on living well, eating well, doing my best on taking care of the basic living needs. I want to have my own small business, a business about turtles. 

Truthfully, before finding these 10 notes, I completely forgot that I’ve ever written this. After almost five years, at the end of 2016, I am grateful and contemplative reading it again. Who said living in NYC is glamorous and fabulous? Who doesn’t bend their will a little so they can make rent/mortgage? Who said not making a dream happen right after you realize it makes you incompetent? Reality bites and sometimes we just need to take it step by step. In the past five years, I focused on earning, saving, gaining experiences to make myself more mature, more worldly, more knowledgeable, and to have a better understanding of what owning a business could be like. The past five-year period was not just packed with difficulties, it was necessary.

What made me truly grateful was realizing that the dreams/goals had stuck with my subconscious the whole time. Though I don’t remember wishing for them before today, they stuck by me. I am sort of in awe with the subconscious and at my inner desires that pushed me towards this lifestyle. Unknowingly, I’ve achieved half of the things I wished for. In 2017, I hope to complete the other half. Oh, and the thing about turtles, don’t worry, I’m not starting a zoo or selling livestock illegally! I’ll talk about this in due time :).