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其實我的心中有個秘密的旅遊名單。

I have a secret travel list.

八年前妹妹走之後,我經歷了許多的第一次。第一次回台灣沒有她和我一起從台北的家走出去逛書店,第一次經歷她的生日,第一次嘗試剩下一家四口的過年,還有好多好多說不完、數不清的第一次。直到現在,還有許多小事我還沒重新試做,例如我到現在還是無法踏進東區粉圓點一碗燒仙草。

After losing my younger sister 8 years ago, I experienced a whole bunch of firsts. The first time retuning to Taiwan without her, the first time walking out of my parent's Taipei apartment without her, her first birthday without her there, the first new year as a family of four, there are countless other firsts. Even until now, there are still things I haven't done again without her next to me. For example, I still can't bring myself to go to this traditional dessert shop in Taipei and order her favorite.

當年妹妹出生之後,我們的家境變好了,所以第一次全家出國就是一家五口。長大一點她成了青少年之後,我們會三姐妹一起旅遊。而她走之前的那幾年,她和我也很喜歡倆人結伴出遊。

When Lisa was born, finances in my family took a great turn, so our first ever overseas trip was for a family of five. When she got older and became a teenager, Susan my older sister, Lisa and I would travel together. And the few years before she left the world, the two of us traveled together quite a bit.

我的秘密旅遊名單僅有五個城市:波士頓、香港、東京、義大利的佛羅倫斯、夏威夷的檀香山,都是我們在她長大懂事之後和她一起去過的地方。名單這麼短,是因為妹妹在23歲那年就逝去。

This brings me back to my secret list. It's a short list of five cities - Boston, Hong Kong, Tokyo, Florence and Honolulu. These are all the cities Susan and I went with her once she turned teen. The list is so short, because she passed away at the tender age of 23.

從2008年開始,我其實一直期待重新去造訪這散遍世界的幾個城市。當然只要有假期,我的第一優先總是回台灣陪伴父母,也會和思先生一起規劃我們倆人夢想的旅遊行程。因此最終我對於這五個城市,都是抱著隨緣的態度。

Starting from 2008, I had set a goal to visit these 5 cities again. But of course whenever I had vacation, I visited Taiwan to spend time with them. I plan trips with Mr. Si as well, to our dream destinations. So I never really pushed for these 5 cities, I welcomed the trips as they happened.

2010年,台灣婚禮前,我要求姊姊陪我去了一趟檀香山,那一直是我們三姐妹最喜歡的地點,當時我也想和姊姊一起完成最後一次的單身姐妹行。同一年的年底,我去了香港,過程蠻痛苦,之前也在豬扒包那篇文裡寫過。2013年,我和思先生去了波士頓參加他表妹的婚禮。去年(2016)的夏天,誤打誤撞的喵邀請我們一起去托斯卡尼,所以我在相隔十年之後,再度走訪了佛羅倫斯。今年二月,我即將完整的在旅遊清單上打滿五個勾勾,我和思先生要去東京了。

in 2010, before our wedding in Taiwan, I asked Susan to join me for a short trip. in Honolulu. It was always our favorite place, and I wanted to have a last sisters trip as singles before I tied the knot with Mr. Si. The same year, I also went to Hong Kong, that trip was short and quite painful, as I wrote in the Pork Chop Bun post back in 2010. In 2013, I got to go back to Boston for a wedding for Mr Si's cousin. Last summer, in 2016, without prior planning, Meow asked us to join them on a trip to Tuscany on a whim. And yes, I got to visit Florence again after 10 years. This coming February, I am going to check off all 5 boxes on my short secret list. Mr. Si and I are going to Tokyo.

這次要去東京,我很期待,因為我真心的感受到自己這些年來心靈上的成長。我不再哭哭啼啼,而是以祝福還有懷念的心,記得當年有妹妹陪伴的美好,期許自己重新再去認識一次東京。昨晚和老朋友佩聊到這件事,因此我決定在忘記之前,把它記下。

I am actually very excited about this trip because I can feel how much I have grown as a person and spiritually. No longer am I crying myself to sleep, I think of Lisa now with good wishes, and remember only the best the most loving memories. With this mentality, I want to get to know Tokyo again. Last night, I got to chat with my old friend Pei about this. Before I forget, I wanted to write it all down.